


all of the things i have seen will be gone

by knoxoursavior



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 14:09:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16120088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knoxoursavior/pseuds/knoxoursavior
Summary: Ash is a monster, a killer. He is a demon in the shape of a boy, his hands stained red from all the blood that has run through his fingers. He is all of those things, but he didn’t want to be. He still doesn’t want to be any of it.And maybe he doesn’t have to be.Or: Ash and Eiji at an airport.





	all of the things i have seen will be gone

**Author's Note:**

> this is my post banana fish fix it fic i guess :( i love these boys so much and they deserved to be happy :(

Ash knows how to kill someone in one strike, knows how to seduce them with one look, knows how to get information out of them with one word. He’s had to learn all of that because he wouldn’t have survived until now if he didn’t. He’s had to resort to the things he’s done because he wouldn’t be here now if he didn’t. He’s never been one to take things lying down—unless it benefitted him somehow, that is. He has killed and he has stolen and he has made people run circles around him. He has hated and lashed out and pulled the trigger too many times to count.

Ash is a monster, a killer. He is a demon in the shape of a boy, his hands stained red from all the blood that has run through his fingers. He is all of those things, but he didn’t want to be. He still doesn’t want to be any of it.

And maybe he doesn’t have to be.

For so many years of his life, this is all he’s known. For so many years of his life, he’s only known his anger and his grief and his will to survive, to avenge, to someday be free. He had a brother who didn’t remember him and dozens of men who use him for their own pleasures. He had one person who he could call a friend and a ragtag group of guys who looked up to him.

Then, he had Eiji.

Eiji, who saw through his pretty face and his ice-cold eyes, who saw him kill and kill again, who was never scared of him no matter how much of Ash he saw. Eiji, who nursed Ash back to health no matter how bad he was at it, who cooked Ash food no matter how badly Ash reacted to it, who always chose to stay with Ash even though he shouldn’t have. Eiji, who has seen Ash cry, who has heard every dirty, disgusting thing that Ash has done and yet still believed in him and told him he was more than who he thought he was.

Eiji, who bought Ash a ticket to Japan and told him that he’ll never be alone because he’ll always have Eiji’s soul with him even when they’re apart.

Ash doesn’t know what he’s done for him to deserve someone like Eiji. Ash isn’t a good person. Ash may not be as bad as Golzine or all of the men who have had their fill thanks to him, but he’s still done bad things. He may have an IQ of over 200 and a face more beautiful than most, but he’s just a whore, just a gang leader, just a killer.

He doesn’t deserve Eiji’s warmth or Eiji’s light, especially after making him go through so much. Not after the bullets Eiji has had to take, not after all the times Eiji was used as a bargaining chip, not after Ash so selfishly put himself and his loneliness first instead of Eiji’s safety so many times.

And yet here Ash is, standing in the Tokyo airport, waving at Eiji in the distance. Eiji is holding a sign with Ash’s name on it, standing on his own two feet instead of being stuck in a wheelchair. He’s smiling so widely, jumping as he waves even though he probably shouldn’t move too much so soon after getting the okay from the doctor. He looks so happy to see Ash and Ash has absolutely no idea why.

He doesn’t know why Eiji’s so happy to see someone who’s only ever put him in danger. He doesn’t know how Eiji can be so selfless, so compassionate, so  _ good _ and yet still want someone like Ash by his side. He doesn’t know why Eiji looks at him like that, like Ash is someone who deserves to be loved, to be taken care of. Like Ash is human.

Ash runs the rest of the way to Eiji, runs and runs until he’s in Eiji’s arms and Eiji is in his arms and they’re together again. It feels like ages since the hospital, since they last saw each other so,  _ so _ briefly but still long enough for Ash to go into that one last fight with his heart beating steady. But that doesn’t matter now. Nothing matters but Eiji’s breath on his neck and Eiji’s hair under his nose.

Eiji is warm in his arms and so is Eiji’s voice in his ear.

“You’re finally here. You’re in Japan,” Eiji says, and yes,  _ yes _ , Ash is. He’s here and he’s  _ with Eiji _ .

“I hope Japan is as nice as you say it is,” Ash says, even though it wouldn’t really matter. Ash can live anywhere as long as Eiji is there with him. Even their run-down hideout in New York was better with Eiji in it. Even Cape Cod was better with Eiji in it, and they barely knew each other then.

Besides, Ash doubts that the country Eiji grew up in could be any worse than anywhere else he’s ever been before.

Eiji pulls away, just enough that Ash can look him in the eyes.

“Well, since you’re here to stay, I hope you do like it as much as I promised you would,” he says.

“I’m here to stay,” Ash repeats. “No matter what, Eiji. I’m here to stay.”

Eiji barged into Ash’s life when he came to New York tailing after Ibe. He looked at Ash and decided he’d be the one to fill the empty space beside him. And Ash let him, welcomed him, loved him for it.

Now, Eiji has pulled Ash into his orbit, has pulled him from his life in New York that has been more hurt than anything else. Now, Eiji has given Ash a chance to shed his icy, blood-stained skin and start fresh. He’s given Ash a chance to finally escape the loneliness he’s lived with for so many years, to never return.

Now, Ash is in Japan and he’s here to stay.

“Let’s go,” Eiji says, and Ash follows.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on [tumblr](http://singeiji.tumblr.com) please lets talk about banana fish and how we're all sad abt it :(


End file.
